I have been trying to decide on what I am doing and it has been difficult. I know my blogging has not been prolific in any sense of the word. I am not a natural at this sort of thing. I don't like talking about anything until i know what I am talking about and blogging is strange anyway because who are talking to when you are doing it anyway? some homogious audience or the folk who follow you or just yourself until somebody body bothers to read it?
I still haven't worked out the function of this thing. Is this supposed to be my public face, should my sentences be grinning like a psychopath like those people who present infomercials? Should this be a sort of project diary? Well then today I sat around and look for relevant artist to my project to research and put in this blog O and I researched Freuds ideas on imagination and Kants as well, preferred Freuds his ideas are always such fun. Should this blog be about the things I have been looking at to give an idea of the ideas I am investigating and the artists I have been inspired by? yeah that sounds good but that just isn't enough about me. This is my blog I am the subject so the question goes back to who is my audience? Ho hum.  
    
I don't like writing. Its something permanent unlike conversation when you can go "I didn't say that" and "that will never stand up in court" or "Its just my word against yours honey, I'm a pillar of this community and your just a low down dirty harlot with a criminal record, who do you think they are going to believe? I could wipe you out right here and nobody would even blink, do ya here me woman!" without having to burn incriminating evidence. There is a lot of pressure in it. Words are a scary mode of expression I feel especially when I speak plainly like this because there is no doubt where these words come from. I am not a poet or anything. I can't spin beautiful clouds of metaphors around me so I have to just speak my brains raw and they are not nearly as clever as I would like them to be. To think one person might read this fills me with the most terrific dread.

Anyway, what am I doing and good god what have I done? I have completed one small project for the toilet exhibition, I'll see if I have remembered the dongle with the images on it. Nope I left it in uni. oops. Don't worry folks I shall discuss this in another blog post. Soon. I know I am excited too.
Well what am I doing now? At the moment I am working on a narrative film thingymajig. This rose from the decomposing remains of the group film project that people seemed to lose interest in. I suppose people who wanted to make a film didn't see the point of going to a group and having to comprise on ideas when they could be just going on out and filming their own and the people who weren't interested in making a film thought why am I here I am not interested in making a film.
Well one of the things that came up was an idea for a film about an outsider whose life is told in objects rather than speech. Objects have taken the role of people that have drifted away. This personification of objects reminded me of my audio project that I made last year so I was a bit wary of retracing my steps but I had also just watched a documentary on product design called "Objectified". It had been really rather interesting but what it made me relies is the amount of objects that surround us and the sheer amount of objects that we actually own. I decided to photograph all the objects that I own, but then I realised half my stuff was back home in Gorebridge so then i decided to photograph all the stuff of mine in my flat but then realised the momentous nature of this and realised I hadn't decided on the formal parameters of this project, yeah they are all in the middle of frame but should they be in context or not should they be in a uniform white space...yada...yada...yada aswell as this how far should I take this should I photograph each individual cornflake I own? Should I photograph the pillow and the pillow case separately. There is alot of niggly questions here that I need to get figured. Starting something like this really makes you aware of how many possessions we own without really thinking about it. I am not an avid consumerist but i have enough objects to make it a serious chore to photograph them all. Stuff like this makes you question why some have so little and why some have so much and what did I do to deserve all this stuff? I really am a very lucky boy! These sort of question tend to make me feel quite guilty But what can I do? I like having stuff its very comfortable. What do you want me to do? destroy it all. Surly that's a little wasteful why should I spit in the face of fortune and besides Michael Landy has done that already. Plenty of people have renounced their possessions. Isn't that a luxury in itself?
A point that was made in the documentary was that almost every single item that we own has been designed by a person or a team of people this led my to look more critically at this film idea of the outsider living along trying to keep people out because people are right there in the objects. Its almost impossible to escape people is there really any place left that is people free. Does Britain have any wilderness left? I don't really think so. Even the highland mountains have been gentrified and cut up into estates long since. I suppose there is the sea and I guess the sky. This reminds my of something that guy who was a sport presenter but then had an epiphany and realised their was an underground race of lizards controlling the world  yeah David Ike that's his name said in one of his lectures, it was a quote from some Native American chief and went something like "How can you buy or sell the sky we do not own the freshness of the air or the sparkle of water. " What makes object yours? This is a question all this brings up. Its yours once you have paid for it with money or dug it out the ground or transformed it in someway, Its yours once you have named it. Stray dogs don't have names nether do undiscovered islands. I don't understand the concept of ownership. If you sell a piece of work is it still your piece of art or is it the buyers? If it is still your pieces of art how come a phone you by at a phone shop isn't still the phone companies phone or the phone designers phone and so on and so on. On second thought I am being silly we decide ownership simply by agreement. Heres your money, Heres your phone. Simple the system works. I still don't really understand what money is, really but it doesn't matter what it is as long as you go along with it. I feel like I have wandered of the path to the point and am now scrabbling around on a scree slope of nonsense. Sorry about that. I was going to talk about the artists
I have been looking at and try and talk about what the narrative film i am going to make was going to be about. I was going to consolidate all the smaller blogs I should have been blogging but didn't into this one large blog but I got waylaid and a bit lost and now its quite late and I am very tired. I'll write a proper blog tomorrow.